By Joel Chandler Harris

“Uncle Remus’s little patron seemed to be so shocked at the burning of the woman that the old man plunged at once into a curious story about a little boy and his two dogs.

“One time,” said Uncle Remus, scratching his head as if by that means to collect his scattered ideas, “dere wuz a ’oman livin’ ’longside er de big road, en dish yer ’oman she had one little boy. Seem like ter me dat he mus’ ’a’ bin des ’bout yo’ size. He mout ’a’ bin a little broader in de shoulder en a little longer in de leg, yit, take ’im up one side en down de udder, he wuz des ’bout yo’ shape en size. He wuz a mighty smart little boy, en his mammy sot lots by ’im. Seem like she ain’t never have no luck ’cept’n ’long wid dat boy, kaze dey wuz one time w’en she had a little gal, en, bless yo’ soul! somebody come ’long en tote de little gal off, en w’en dat happen de ’oman ain’t have no mo’ little gal, en de little boy ain’t have no mo’ little sister. Dis make bofe er um mighty sorry, but look like de little boy wuz de sorriest, kaze he show it de mosest.

“Some days he’d take a notion fer ter go en hunt his little sister, en den he’d go down de big road en clam a big pine-tree, en git right spang in de top, en look all roun’ fer ter see ef he can’t see his little sister some’rs in de woods. He couldn’t see ’er, but he’d stay up dar in de tree en swing in de win’ en ’low ter hisself dat maybe he mout see ’er bimeby.

“One day, w’iles he wuz a-settin’ up dar, he see two mighty fine ladies walkin’ down de road. He clam down out’n de tree, he did, en run en tol’ his mammy. Den she up en ax:

“‘How is dey dress, honey?’

“‘Mighty fine, mammy, mighty fine, puffy-out petticoats en long green veils.’

“‘How des dey look, honey?’

“‘Spick span new, mammy.’

“‘Dey ain’t none er our kin, is dey, honey?’

“‘Dat dey ain’t, mammy—dey er mighty fine ladies.’

“De fine ladies, dey come on down de road, dey did, en stop by de ’oman’s house, en beg ’er fer ter please en gi’ um some water. Dey little boy, he run en fetch ’em a gourd full, en dey put de gourd und’ der veils, en drunk, en drunk, en  drunk des like dey wuz mighty nigh perish fer water. De little boy watch um. ’Reckly he holler out:

“‘Mammy, mammy! W’at you recken? Dey er lappin’ de water.’ De woman hollered back:

“‘I recken dat’s de way de quality folks does, honey.’

“Den de ladies beg fer some bread, en de little boy tuck um a pone. Dey eat it like dey wuz mighty nigh famish fer bread. Bimeby de little boy holler out en say:

“‘Mammy, mammy! W’at you recken? Dey er got great long tushes.’ De ’oman, she holler back:

“’ I recken all de quality folks is got um, honey.’

“Den de ladies ax fer some water fer to wash der han’s, en de little boy brung um some. He watch um, en bimeby he holler out:

“‘Mammy, mammy! W’at you recken? Dey got little bit er hairy han’s en arms.’ De ’oman, she holler back:

“‘I recken all de quality folks is got um, honey.’

“Den de ladies beg de ’oman fer ter please en let de little boy show um whar de big road forks. But de little boy don’t want ter go. He holler out:

“‘Mammy, folks don’t hatter be showed whar de road forks’; but de oman she ’low:

“‘I recken de quality folks does, honey.’

“De little boy, he ’gun ter whimpie en cry kaze he don’t want ter go wid de ladies, but de ’oman say he oughter be ’shame er hisse’f fer ter be gwine on dat away ’fo’ de quality folks, en mo’ ’n dat, he mout run upon his little sister en fetch ’er home.

“Now dish yer little boy had too mighty bad dogs. One er um wuz name Minnyminny Morack, en de t’er one wuz name Follerlinsko, en dey wuz so bad dey hatter be tied in de yard day en night, ’cep’ w’en dey wuzent a-huntin’. So de little boy, he went en got a pan er water en sot ’im down in de middle er de flo’, en den he went en got ’im a willer lim’, en he stuck it in de groun’. Den he ’low:

“‘Mammy, w’en de water in dish yer pan tu’ns ter blood, den you run out en tu’n loose Minnyminny Morack en Follerlinsko, en den w’en you see dat dar wilier lim’ a-shakin’, you run en sick um on my track.’

“De ’oman, she up an’ say she’d tu’n de dogs loose, en den de little boy he stuck his han’s in he pockets en went on down de road a wisserlin’ des same ez enny yuther little boy, ’cep’ dat he wuz lots smarter. He went on down de road, he did, en de fine quality ladies dey come on behin’.

“De furder he went de faster he walk. Dis make de quality ladies walk fas’, too, en ’t want so mighty long ’fo’ de little boy year um makin’ a mighty kuse fuss, en w’en he t’un ’roun’, bless gracious! dey wuz a-pantin’, kaze dey wuz so tired en hot. De little boy ’low ter hisse’f dat it mighty kuse how ladies kin pant same es a wil’ varment, but he say he speck dat de way de quality ladies does w’en dey gits hot en tired, en he make like he can’t year um, kaze he want ter be nice en perlite.

“Atter a w’ile, w’en de quality ladies t’ink de little boy want lookin’ at um, he seed one er um drap down on ’er all-fours en trot ’long des like a varmint, en’t want long ’fo’ de yuther one drapt down on ’er all-fours. Den de little boy ’lowed:

“Shoo! Ef dat de way quality ladies res’ derse’f w’en dey git tired I reckon a little chap ’bout my size better be fixin fer ter res’ hisse’f.’

“So he look ’roun’, he did, en he tuck ’n pick ’im out a great big pine-tree by de side er de road, en ’gun to clam it. Den w’en dey see dat, one er de quality ladies ’low:

“‘My goodness! W’at in de worl’ you up ter now?’ Little boy he say, sezee:

“‘I’m des a-clamin’ a tree fer ter res’ my bones.’ Ladies, dey ’low:

“‘Whyn’t you res’ um on de groun’?’ Little boy say, sezee:

“‘Bekaze I like ter git up whar it cool en high.

“De quality ladies, dey tuck ’n walk ’roun’ en ’roun’ de tree like dey wuz medjun it fer ter see how big it is. Bimeby, atter w’ile dey say, sezee:

“‘Little boy, little boy! you better come down frum dar en show us de way ter de forks er de road.’ Den de little boy ’low:

“‘Des keep right on, ladies—you’ll fin’ de forks er de road; you can’t miss um. I’m afeard fer ter come down, kaze I might fall en hurt some er you all.’ De ladies dey say, sezee:

“‘You better come down yer ’fo’ we run en tell yo’ mammy how bad you is.’ De little boy ’low:

“‘W’iles you er tellin’ ’er please um’ tell ’er how skeerd I is.’

“Den de quality ladies got mighty mad. Dey walked ’roun’ dat tree en fairly snorted. Dey pulled off der bonnets, en der veils, en der dresses, en, lo en beholes! de little boy seen dey wuz two great big pant’ers. Dey had great big eyes, en big sharp tushes, en great long tails, en dey look up at de little boy en growl en grin at ’im twel he come mighty nigh havin’ a chill. Dey tried ter clam de tree, but dey had done trim der claws so dey could git on gloves, en dey couldn’t clam no mo’.

“Den one er um sot down in de road en made a kuse mark in de san’, en der great long tails tu’n’d ter axes, en no sooner is der tails tu’n ter axes den dey ’gun ter cut de tree down. I ain’t dast ter tell you how sharp dem axes wuz, kase you wouldn’t nigh b’lieve me. One er um stood on one side er de tree, en de yuther one stood on de yuther side, en dey whack at dat tree like dey wuz takin’ a holiday. Dey whack out chips ez big ez yo’ hat, en’t want so mighty long ’fo’ de tree wuz ready fer ter fall.

“But w’iles de little boy wuz settin’ up dar, skeerd mighty nigh ter def, hit come inter his min’ dat he had some eggs in his pocket w’at he done brung wid ’im fer ter eat w’enever he git hongry. He tuck out one er de eggs en broke it, en say: ‘Place, fill up!’ en, bless yo’ soul! de place fill up sho ’nuff, en de tree look des ’zackly like nobody ain’t bin a-cuttin’ on it.

“But dem ar pant’ers dey wuz werry vig’rous. Dey des spit on der han’s en cut away. W’en dey git de tree mighty nigh cut down de little boy he pull out ’n’er egg en broke it, en say, ‘Place, fill up!’ en by de time he say it de tree wuz done made soun’ agin. Dey kep’ on dis away twel de little boy ’gun ter git skeerd agin. He done broke all he eggs, ’ceptin’ one, en dem ar creeturs wuz des a-cuttin’ away like dey wuz venomous, w’ich dey mos’ sholy wuz.

“Des ’bout dat time de little boy mammy happen ter stumble over de pan er water w’at wuz settin’ down on de flo’, en dar it wuz all done tu’n ter blood. Den she tuck ’n run en unloose Minnyminny Morack en Follerlinsko. Den w’en she do dat she see de wilier lim’ a-shakin’, en den she put de dogs on de little boy track, en away dey went. De little boy year um a-comin’, en he holler out:

“‘Come on, my good dogs. Here, dogs, here.’

“De pant’ers dey stop choppin’ en lissen. One ax de yuther one w’at she year. Little boy say:

“‘You don’ year nothin’. Go on wid yo’ choppin.

“De pant’ers dey chop some mo’, en den dey think dey year de dogs a-comin’. Den dey try der bes fer ter git away, but’t want no use. Dey ain’t got time fer ter change der axes back inter tails, en co’se dey can’t run wid axes draggin’ behin’ um. So de dogs cotch um. De little boy, he ’low:

“‘Shake um en bite um. Drag um ’roun’ en ’roun’ twel you drag um two mile.’ So de dogs dey drag um ’roun’ two mile. Den de little boy say, sezee:

“‘Shake um en t’ar um. Drag um ’roun’ en ’roun’ twel you drag um ten mile.’ So dey drag um ten mile, en by de time dey got back, de pant’ers wuz col’ en stiff.

“Den de little boy clum down out ’n de tree, en sot down fer ter res’ ’hisse’f. Bimeby atter w’ile, he ’low ter hisse’f dat bein’ he hay so much fun, he b’lieve he takes his dogs en go way off in de woods fer ter see ef he can’t fin’ his little sister. He call his dogs, he did, en went off in de woods, en dey ain’t bin gone so mighty fur ’fo’ he seed a house in de woods away off by itse’f.

“De dogs dey went up en smelt ’roun’, dey did, en come wid der bristles up, but de little boy ’low he’d go up dar anyhow en see w’at de dogs wuz mad ’bout. So he call de dogs en went todes de house, en w’en he got close up he saw a little gal totin’ wood en water. She wuz a mighty purty little gal, kaze she had a milk-white skin, en great long yaller hair; but ’er cloze wuz all in rags, en she wuz cryin’ kaze she hatter work so hard. Minnyminny Morack en Follerlinsko wagged der tails w’en dey seed de little gal, en de little boy know’d by dat dat she wuz his sister.

“So he went up en ax er w’at ’er name is, en she say she dunner w’at ’er name is, kaze she so skeerd she done fergit. Den he ax ’er w’at de name er goodness she cryin’ ’bout, en she say she cryin’ kaze she hatter work so hard. Den he ax ’er who de house belong ter, en she ’low it b’long ter a great big ole black B’ar, en dis old B’ar make ’er tote wood en water all de time. She say de water is ter go in de big wash-pot, en de wood is fer ter make de pot bile, en de pot wuz ter cook folks w’at de great big ole B’ar brung home ter he chilluns.

“De little boy didn’t tell de little gal dat he wuz ’er br’er, but he ’low dat he was gwine ter stay en eat supper wid de big ole B’ar. De little girl cried en ’low he better not, but de little boy say he ain’t feared fer ter eat supper wid a B’ar. So dey went in de house, en w’en de little boy got in dar, he seed dat de B’ar had two great big chilluns, en one er um wuz squattin’ on de bed, en de yuther one wuz squattin down in de h’ath. De chilluns, dey wuz bofe er um name Cubs, fer short, but de little boy want skeerd er um, kaze dar wuz his dogs fer ter make way wid um ef dey so much ez roll der eye-ball.

“De ole B’ar wuz a mighty long time comin’ back, so de little gal she up ’n fix supper, anyhow, en de little boy he tuck ’n scrouge Cubs fus on one side en den on yuther, en him en de little gal got much ez dey want. Atter supper de little boy tole de little gal dat he’d take en comb ’er ha’r des ter w’ile away de time; but de little gal ha’r ain’t bin comb fer so long, en it am got in such a tankle, dat it make de po’ creetur cry fer ter hear anybody talkin’ ’bout combin’ un it. Den de little boy ’low he ain’t gwine ter hurt ’er, en he tuck ’n warm some water in a pan en put it on ’er ha’r, en den he comb en curlt it des ez nice as you mos’ ever see.

“W’en de ole B’ar git home he wuz mighty tuck ’n back w’en he seed he had com’ny, en w’en he see um all settin’ down like dey come den fer ter stay. But he wuz mighty perlite, en he shuck han’s all ’roun’, en set down by de fier en dry his boots, en ax ’bout de craps, en ’low dat de wedder would be monstus fine ef dey could git a little season er rain.

“Den he tuck ’n make a great ’miration over de little gal’s ha’r, en he ax de little boy how in de roun’ worl’ kin he curl it en fix it so nice. De little un ’low it’s easy enough. Den de ole B’ar say he b’lieve he like ter git his ha’r curlt up dat way, en de little boy say:

“‘Fill de big pot wid water.’

“De ole B’ar filled de pot wid water. Den de little boy say:

“‘Buil’ a fier und’ de pot en heat de water hot.’

“W’en de water got scaldin’ hot, de little boy say:

“‘All ready, now. Stick yo’ head in. Hit ’s de onliest way fer ter make yo’ ha’r curl.’

“Den de ole B’ar stuck he head in de water, en dot wuz de las’ er him, bless gracious! De scaldin’ water curlt de ha’r twel it come off, en I speck dat whar dey get de idee ’bout puttin’ b’ar grease on folks’ ha’r. De young b’ars dey cry like ever’ting w’en dey see how der daddy bin treated, en dey want bite and scratch de little boy en his sister, but dem dogs—dat Minnyminny Morack en dat Follerlinsko—dey des laid holt er dem dar b’ars, en dey want enough lef’ er um ter feed a kitten.”

“What did they do then?” asked the little boy who had been listening to the story. The old man took off his spectacles and cleaned the glasses on his coat-tail.

“Well, sir,” he went on, “de little boy tuck ’n kyard his sister home, an’ his mammy says she ain’t never gwine ter set no sto’ by folks wid fine cloze, kaze dey so ’ceitful; no, never, so long as de Lord mout spar’ ’er. En den, atter dat, dey tuck ’n live terge’er right straight ’long, en ef it hadn’t but a bin fer de war, dey’d a bin a-livin’ dar now. Bekaze war is a mighty dangersome business.”