by Charles dickens
MRS. KENWIGS was the wife of an ivory turner, and though they only had a very humble home of two rooms in a dingy-looking house in a small street, they had great pretensions to being “genteel.” The little Miss Kenwigs had their flaxen hair plaited into pig-tails and tied with blue ribbons, and wore little white trousers with frills round their ankles, the highest fashion of that day; besides being dressed with such elegance, the two eldest girls went twice a week to a dancing school. Mrs. Kenwigs, too, had an uncle who collected the water rate, and she was therefore considered a person of great distinction, with quite the manners of a lady. On the eighth anniversary of their wedding day, Mr. and Mrs. Kenwigs invited a party of friends to supper to celebrate the oc-casion. The four eldest children were to be allowed to sit up to supper, and the uncle, Mr. Lillyvick, had promised to come. The baby was put to bed in a little room lent by one of the lady guests, and a little girl hired to watch him. All the company had assembled when a ring was heard, and Morleena, whose name had been invented by Mrs. Kenwigs specially for her, ran down to open the door and lead in her distinguished great-uncle, then the supper was brought in.
The table was cleared; Mr. Lillyvick established in the arm-chair by the firesi-de; the four little girls arranged on a small form in front of the company with their flaxen tails towards them; Mrs. Kenwigs was suddenly dissolved in tears and sobbed out—
“They are so beautiful!”
“Oh, dear,” said all the ladies, “so they are; it’s very natural you should feel proud of that; but don’t give way, don’t.”
“I can—not help it, and it don’t signify,” sobbed Mrs. Kenwigs: “oh! they’re too beautiful to live, much too beautiful.”
On hearing this dismal prophecy, all four little girls screamed until their light flaxen tails vibrated again, and rushed to bury their heads in their mother’s lap.
At length she was soothed, and the children calmed down; while the ladies and gentlemen all said they were sure they would live for many many years, and there was no occasion for their mother’s distress: and as the children were not so remarkably lovely, this was quite true.
Then Mr. Lillyvick talked to the company about his niece’s marriage, and said graciously that he had always found Mr. Kenwigs a very honest, well-behaved, upright, and respectable sort of man, and shook hands with him, and then Mor-leena and her sisters kissed their uncle and most of the guests.
Then Miss Petowker, who could sing and recite in a way that brought tears to Mrs. Kenwigs’ eyes, remarked—
“Oh, dear Mrs. Kenwigs, while Mr. Noggs is making that punch to drink happy returns in, do let Morleena go through that figure dance before Mr. Lillyvick.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what,” said Mrs. Kenwigs. “Morleena shall do the steps, if uncle can persuade Miss Petowker to recite us the ‘Blood-Drinker’s Burial’ af-terwards.”
Everyone clapped their hands and stamped their feet at this proposal, but Miss Petowker said, “You know I dislike doing anything professional at private par-ties.”
“Oh, but not here!” said Mrs. Kenwigs. “You might as well be going through it in your own room: besides, the occasion.”
“I can’t resist that,” interrupted Miss Petowker, “anything in my humble power, I shall be delighted to do.”
In reality Mrs. Kenwigs and Miss Petowker had arranged all the entertainment between them beforehand, but had settled that a little pressing on each side would look more natural. Then Miss Petowker hummed a tune, and Morleena danced. It was a very beautiful figure, with a great deal of work for the arms, and gained much applause. Then Miss Petowker was entreated to begin her re-citation, so she let down her back hair, and went through the performance with great spirit, and died raving mad in the arms of a bachelor friend who was to rush out and catch her at the words “in death expire,” to the great delight of the audience and the terror of the little Kenwigses, who were nearly frightened in-to fits.
Just as the punch was ready, a knock at the door startled them all. But it was only a friend of Mr. Noggs, who lived upstairs, and who had come down to say that Mr. Noggs was wanted.
Mr. Noggs hurried out, saying he would be back soon, and presently startled them all by rushing in, snatching up a candle and a tumbler of hot punch, and darting out again.
Now, it happened unfortunately that the tumbler of punch was the very one that Mr. Lillyvick was just going to lift to his lips, and the great man—the rich relation—who had it in his power to make Morleena and her sisters heiresses—and whom everyone was most anxious to please—was offended.
Poor Mr. Kenwigs endeavored to soothe him, but only made matters worse. Mr. Lillyvick demanded his hat, and was only induced to remain by Mrs. Kenwigs’ tears and the entreaties of the entire company.
“There, Kenwigs,” said Mr. Lillyvick, “and let me tell you, to show you how much out of temper I was, that if I had gone away without another word, it would have made no difference respecting that pound or two which I shall lea-ve among your children when I die.”
“Morleena Kenwigs,” cried her mother, “go down on your knees to your dear uncle, and beg him to love you all his life through; for he’s more an angel than a man, and I’ve always said so.”
Just as all were happy again, everyone was startled by a rapid succession of the loudest and shrillest shrieks, apparently coming from the room where the baby was asleep.
“My baby, my blessed, blessed, blessed, blessed baby! My own darling, sweet, innocent Lillyvick! Let me go-o-o-o,” screamed Mrs. Kenwigs.
Mr. Kenwigs rushed out, and was met at the door of the bedroom by a young man with the baby (upside down) in his arms, who came out so quickly that he knocked Mr. Kenwigs down; handing the child to his mother, he said, “Don’t be alarmed, it’s all out, it’s all over—the little girl, being tired, I suppose, fell asleep and set her hair on fire. I heard her cries and ran up in time to prevent her setting fire to anything else. The child is not hurt: I took it off the bed my-self and brought it here to convince you.”
After they had all talked over this last excitement, and discussed little Lilly-vick’s deliverer, the collector pulled out his watch and announced that it was nearly two o’clock, and as the poor children had been for some time obliged to keep their little eyes open with their little forefingers, the company took leave, declaring they had never spent such a delightful evening, and that they wished Mr. and Mrs. Kenwigs had a wedding-day once a week.
